In my recovery I realized that what is separating me from finding God is my self identity. This false sense of self identity that has been created out of dysfunction and has controlled me my whole life up until now. This self identity that has gripped me with fear, feelings of unworthiness and inferiority to others but at the same time feeling superior to others. It tells me I’m better than or less than you.
The ego is not your amigo. It is what separates me from everybody else. The ego will build a case against anybody. My ego will find fault in you, judge you, pretty much tear you apart in my mind. You can do something I don’t like and that is the end of our relationship and vice versa. I look back and think about all the people that have come and gone throughout my life.
In order to form a relationship with God you have to let go of all preconceived ideas, present habits of thought, basically empty your self of self will because it is the self that blocks finding God. It is fear that keeps you from freedom and keeps you remained in bondage. It’s the fear that holds you back from moving forward and enjoying life.
We were all created unique in God’s image. We are each unique in our own way so to judge or find fault in others yourself is disrespecting God. I’m just starting to love myself for the first time in my life.